So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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