hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
