I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
