If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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