What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
