so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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