That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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