what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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