This girl is more easily done than said...
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
