Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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