I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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