I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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