hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
