yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
