so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
