HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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