since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize