This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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