I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
