Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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