every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
