Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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