i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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