ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
