I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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