I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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