I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
