Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
