As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
You're like the curious george of whores
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
