she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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