Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
