I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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