If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
