I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
