Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
