Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
