just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
