How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
