omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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