with your own penis?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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