I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
