It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
