hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Drunk walkin through police station. America
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
