We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
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