We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
