I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize