So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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