shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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