Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
