I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize