if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
