yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Buhtt sex?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
