I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
