I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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