I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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