I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
