Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
