ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
