I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
