Fine. I'll sleep in my office
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
