Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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