Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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