life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
