My friends, they love my intelligence
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
