Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
