I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize