dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
