I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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