I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
