Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
