Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
