I just cut my nipple shaving
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
