Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize